So, Rachel and I allow our daughters to watch Hell's Kitchen with us - a cooking competition show on Fox hosted by Gordon Ramsey. Chef Ramsay has a penchant for being foul-mouthed and overly-harsh with the contestants. There is a lot of "bleeped" out dialogue on the show. (NOTE: this is not an endorsement of the show nor is it a recommendation of our parenting choices.)
Last night's episode was the first time I truly had a moment that gave me pause. "My girls don't need to watch this," I thought. The winning team after a successful dinner service was awarded with an all-expense paid overnight stay at an opulent villa in Las Vegas. Their Vegas "host" for their one-day/one-night stay was none other than former Hefner girl, Holly Madison. There she was. Holly Madison. In full HD glory in my living room. Looking about as modest as ... as you would expect her to look.
Megan: (wide-eyed) Who's she?
Mom: Her name is Holly Madison.
Kyra: Why is she famous?
Mom: She's famous ... (pause) for taking her clothes off.
This was followed up with a conversation about modesty, plastic-surgery, and objectifying women.
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A lot of people would question our decision to let them watch the show. I question it too! But I'm developing a theory. A germ-theory about parenting. Here it is.
We've all heard the medical community encourage parents not to over-protect our children from germs. If things are too clean and over-sanitized, we actually prevent our child's immune systems from forming necessary antibodies to help fight infections, sickness, etc.
Perhaps the same is true socially.
Here's the truth. My daughters are now in junior high and high school. And if my junior high experience is anything like their's, they are already exposed to all of the "crap" of Hell's Kitchen (and more) in real life. Parenthetically, my first Holly Madison-like "exposure" was a ripped-out page from a Playboy that a friend had found in a ditch. I traded a Calvinist Cadet Corps merit-badge for it. I think it was the "Chess" badge. That was 7th grade.
Our children need to develop right ways to think about and process the tough stuff of life. And if there is never an opportunity to process these things and have these conversations inside the home, they are left on their own to make sense of everything. And they likely will not have the "necessary antibodies" in place for that to happen in a healthy way.
Rachel thinks this is why Preacher's Kids have such a bad reputation ... because so many are over-protected and never have a forum for meaningful conversations about the tough stuff of life.
So far, our girls have turned out pretty fabulous. Maybe having a forum for tough conversations is part of the reason why. Again, this is just a theory. Would love to hear your thoughts. And please feel completely free to disagree.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with you a hundred percent, especially after working in middle school! It's tough as a mom because I hate to even think about Lily having to deal with all of the crap of life that I see my students dealing with and I know I dealt with, but realistically I know it is unavoidable. I think you are right on about open communication leading to "antibodies". In some ways movies and television are good for that, like a vaccine, because they offer some exposure and a chance for discussion without actually physically exposing your kids to tough situations.
ReplyDelete(My other post had a spelling error and I can't let that slide!)
While I'm terrified at the mere thought of having, attempting to raise, and permanently ruining, a child, this makes pretty good sense to me. Temptation is a lifelong struggle, and just like saying "don't think of an elephant" always produces the inevitable result of thinking of an elephant, attempting to live life in a bubble as if temptation did not exist seems to invite it in allowing it to run rampant where no defenses exist. On the other hand, living in the tension--being in the world but not of the world--fully acknowledges temptation and helps a person to develop strategies to encounter and resist it. Sounds like y'all are right on the mark with your girls.
ReplyDeleteWell, I have to agree with you on how you raise your kids. Proof is in the pudding and you have shown the world and church you know what you are doing. Thanks for sharing this blog.
ReplyDeleteDoug
Mamie,
ReplyDeletei wood be affended if y,de left any spellin airors in your post.
Excellent wisdom Curtis! Thanks for sharing!
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